Telling Your #LeavingStory
Thank you for being willing to tell your story about leaving the evangelical church – what we’re calling a #LeavingStory. In the process of launching Project 21:12, we’ve talked with dozens of Exvangelicals who have powerful stories of reckoning with evangelical hypocrisy, homophobia, racism, transphobia, and abuse – and taking the courageous step to say, “No more.”
Background
This document is an effort to offer some tips to help you think about how to share what is undoubtedly a series of complex, complicated, even hurtful memories. Remember that we’re not trying to tell the totality of your story – we’re hoping to capture in 60 seconds the most salient, powerful memories or learnings from your #LeavingStory. There are a few goals to keep in mind as you’re considering what to include and how to shape your story:
Crafting Your Story
Though it’s often the case that “telling” your story involves a chronological rundown of your life, “crafting” your story in the context of organizing is more intentional. Marshall Ganz – who learned organizing from the farmworker movement and helped shape the 2008 Obama presidential campaign – offers a framework called “Public Narrative” that revolves around a Story of Self, Story of Us, and Story of Now. There is a very disciplined and thoughtful structure to storytelling that Ganz offers to organizers (and you can see more about that framework here), but the gist is that crafting your story is a way to invite someone into an organizing community by sharing a key moment from your life when you encountered a challenge, made a choice to move through it into a new reality, and learned something in the process.
In shorthand, here’s a quick outline of how to structure your #LeavingStory:
For former evangelicals, this can seem simultaneously comfortable (we all grew up with story by way of “testimony”) and uncomfortable (we all rejected evangelicalism, after all). The key thing to remember in crafting your story is that we’re staying very far away from the emotional manipulation and conditional inclusion that characterizes the evangelical church. Instead, we’re telling our own story, on our own terms, in an effort to help more people disentangle themselves from the throes of emotional (and other) manipulation.
This link provides background on the Public Narrative framework, but also includes a few worksheets you can use in case that’s useful to you in crafting your #LeavingStory. There’s also a simplified version of a worksheet here. You can also see some examples (though long!) of Story of Self, Us, and Now at this link – including Professor Ganz’s story.
For this #LeavingStory project, we’re looking for a few key things regarding the structure of your video – these things are key to ensuring that as many people as possible hear your story:
Logistically, this can be as simple as recording a video while sitting in your car, or cooking in the kitchen, or walking (slowly) through your neighborhood. It shouldn't be "polished" -- in fact, being "unpolished" is far more authentic and resonant for most folks. And we're HAPPY to help coach you and accompany you in this process! To book a Zoom call to record your story, just find a time via Calendly and make a note that the call is to talk about your #LeavingStory.
And THANK YOU for being willing to share your #LeavingStory with the world!
Background
This document is an effort to offer some tips to help you think about how to share what is undoubtedly a series of complex, complicated, even hurtful memories. Remember that we’re not trying to tell the totality of your story – we’re hoping to capture in 60 seconds the most salient, powerful memories or learnings from your #LeavingStory. There are a few goals to keep in mind as you’re considering what to include and how to shape your story:
- Visibility: Telling your #LeavingStory helps make visible the millions of people across the country who have left the evangelical church. This is no small task – many folks have been gaslighted by churches and pastors who have told them they’re “the only one” who has left or that leaving means they’re inherently sinful. The truth is that about 15 million people were raised as evangelicals and have since left the evangelical church (ie Exvangelicals). It’s critical to push back on the lie that no one leaves, and to show folks who are considering leaving that there are many more of us out there!
- Inspiration: Telling your #LeavingStory helps inspire the millions of people who are still sitting in the pews of evangelical churches even though they have long since left the theology of those churches. There are many people who leave the theology before they leave the community – and they need to know that there’s something out there for them. Your #LeavingStory will help inspire more people to “vote with their feet” and leave, rather than staying stuck in a place that does not align with their values.
- Democracy: Telling your #LeavingStory helps build a more resilient democracy – one that relies on people being willing to say they were wrong. Authoritarianism is built around a “strongman” leader who can never appear to be wrong, and who uses “alternative facts” to gaslight anyone who thinks otherwise. It’s critical to the effort to build a resilient, multiracial democracy to show people that it’s OK to be wrong – and you can come out happier and more grounded on the other side of leaving.
Crafting Your Story
Though it’s often the case that “telling” your story involves a chronological rundown of your life, “crafting” your story in the context of organizing is more intentional. Marshall Ganz – who learned organizing from the farmworker movement and helped shape the 2008 Obama presidential campaign – offers a framework called “Public Narrative” that revolves around a Story of Self, Story of Us, and Story of Now. There is a very disciplined and thoughtful structure to storytelling that Ganz offers to organizers (and you can see more about that framework here), but the gist is that crafting your story is a way to invite someone into an organizing community by sharing a key moment from your life when you encountered a challenge, made a choice to move through it into a new reality, and learned something in the process.
In shorthand, here’s a quick outline of how to structure your #LeavingStory:
- Quickly set the scene of a moment when you were confronted with the choice of staying or leaving your evangelical community – be as concise as possible, but also descriptive enough that folks can understand what you were feeling in that moment.
- In a few sentences, tell your Story of Self – what were you experiencing, what was the cognitive dissonance you felt at the moment, what kind of choice did you face, and/or how did you summon the courage to make that choice?
- Universalize that specific moment by pivoting to Story of Us – how did your choice to leave help you connect with people who more closely shared your values, feel more “yourself,” and/or blossom into a different version of yourself?
- Finally, shift to an invitation for others to do the same with your Story of Now – what are you seeing/feeling in this moment that has called you to share your story and join an organizing community? What is the urgent challenge of this moment that requires those who used to sit in evangelical pews to empty those pews and do something different? What did you learn in your own process of deconstruction and leaving that you think is valuable for those who are in a discernment process now to hear from you?
For former evangelicals, this can seem simultaneously comfortable (we all grew up with story by way of “testimony”) and uncomfortable (we all rejected evangelicalism, after all). The key thing to remember in crafting your story is that we’re staying very far away from the emotional manipulation and conditional inclusion that characterizes the evangelical church. Instead, we’re telling our own story, on our own terms, in an effort to help more people disentangle themselves from the throes of emotional (and other) manipulation.
This link provides background on the Public Narrative framework, but also includes a few worksheets you can use in case that’s useful to you in crafting your #LeavingStory. There’s also a simplified version of a worksheet here. You can also see some examples (though long!) of Story of Self, Us, and Now at this link – including Professor Ganz’s story.
For this #LeavingStory project, we’re looking for a few key things regarding the structure of your video – these things are key to ensuring that as many people as possible hear your story:
- Keep it short – ideally under 60 seconds. If you want to record a longer story of a few minutes and a shorter story under 60 seconds, that’s great!
- Pay attention to lighting and video/audio quality – it’s OK to do some test recordings in order to ensure that the video is watchable and understandable. This video and this video (esp tips 4 & 5) have some great tips.
Logistically, this can be as simple as recording a video while sitting in your car, or cooking in the kitchen, or walking (slowly) through your neighborhood. It shouldn't be "polished" -- in fact, being "unpolished" is far more authentic and resonant for most folks. And we're HAPPY to help coach you and accompany you in this process! To book a Zoom call to record your story, just find a time via Calendly and make a note that the call is to talk about your #LeavingStory.
And THANK YOU for being willing to share your #LeavingStory with the world!